The Classic Above Her Class

Below searing sunsets, she’d settle to watch endless galaxies of unblemished, shimmering starlight. She’ll rise to meet the creeping sunlight, to dance across red dusty trails, skipping the skirts of billabongs, as feathered flocks flee from her sight.

She’s flown herself, fleeing smoke filled savannahs with bushfires kissing at her heels. Only to cool beneath the shade of blackened gumtrees, while lightening sizzled across infinite hazy horizons. And, like the rest of us, she too helped pray for rain.

Wide horned buffalo, hogging the back-tracks, were no match in their head to head battles with her. She’d send them scurrying, as well as scattering crowds of lazy wallabies through the scrub. She’s been a safe fishing platform while nudging at cunning crocodiles as she cruised beside creek beds, and steered millions of cranky cattle refusing to give up their taste of the wild.

As a matriarch, she conveyed the hopes of many. Has carted endless supplies to feed her army, trekking across a country she’d seen change with the days.  She’d rescued the injured, guided the visiting, carried the newborn, and even transported the newlywed.

She’d never known what the black tarmac felt under her toes.  Not once had she been surrounded by concrete, or got lost amongst a cacophony of cars that collectively crept along congested highways. She’s never had to stop at a set of traffic lights. Nor seen the extravagant coloured night glow of a city gone to slumber.

Glassless. Roofless. Rust covers her where chrome and straight painted panels used to shine. Now, a body of lumps and bumps, wearing patch-ups reminiscent of a front line survivor of WWII. Her engine was perfectly adaptable to the simple skills of the bush mechanics, reacting well to roadside repairs, using whatever layabout. Be it a cattleman’s sweat laden leather belt, or strips of denim jeans to cinch up a pipe, it was always just enough to help her to limp us all back home.

There’s no comparison to the shiny new tin toys of today that dare to compete with this grand ol’ beast, unbothered about her beauty. They didn’t have her heart or her unstopping stamina. They lack her toughness to handle intense paint-blistering heat, the thick red dust, or sideways walls of flooding rains.

She was the cause of spreading smiles, a part of tall-tales sessions where many shared her adventurous travels. And she was always that stable grounding for plenty of the Brewers’ Best consumed, rested, and spilled across her dust covered bonnet.

She was reliable. Rugged. Territory tough.

Until now…

So let’s raise a beer to this grand ol’ girl, may she follow that never-ending fence line in the land of ‘Landcruiser Dreaming’. Always remembered as a truly heroic, kickass, classic country car.

(460 words)

 

FROM MOVING MOMENTS.

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Olympic Proportions

My new antenna (1 of 1)

“So, Ol’ mate fetches a round from the beer-fridge and a stubby rolls out and smashes.”

“Where were you?” His pen clicked, poised above the clipboard

“With the rest of the blokes standin’ round the barbie, just shattered watchin’ that wasted beer spread across the cracked concrete.”

“Over a spilt beer?”

“It was tragic.”

“I see,” he replied, loosening his necktie. “Go on, please.”

“So, he’s cleaning it up. When a piece of glass stabbed straight through his rubber thong, makin’ him flap like an unsynchronised swimmer trying to get it out. That caused the caged lorikeet to squawk like an uncivilised-spectator in the final seconds of the rowing race. Which scared the chooks off the veranda and into the gum tree. That woke the possum up, causin’ him to fall from his perch and land on the satellite dish, clinging to the TV antenna like a banned Russian gymnast moonlighting as a pole dancer. But the pole broke, sendin’ the possum into the next tree. So then the antenna rolls off the roof, ripping out the power cables, where it all lands like a mislaid Rugby-scrum in front of this cheeky wallaby eatin’ the missus flowers. He made a mess of her flowers.”

“What did, the wallaby or the dish?”

“Um…” Thumbing up his Akubra’s rim.

“Where’s the satellite dish?”

“Well, somehow those cables hitched onto the wallaby. Should’ve seen it! Swear it broke the world record sprinting across the paddock and hurdled that barbed wire fence higher than any pole-vaulter.  Where the cables got caught, launching that antenna like a javelin for its final swan dive into the dam as green as the divin’ pool in Rio. And that’s where the satellite dish is now.”

The insurance assessor shook his head as he mumbled, “a possum caused all this damage?”

“Technically, it started from a wasted beer. Tragic it was. So, my insurance gonna cover that too?”

(300 words)

Author’s note:

For my overseas readers who may not understand some of the Aussie lingo used in the above:

Wallaby: is a smaller cousin to the Kangaroo

Akubra: a wide-brimmed hat and an Australian icon.

Thongs: rubber-soled footwear that’s not to be confused with the underwear.

Stubby: a beer bottle containing the same liquid volume as a beer can.

Blokes: a gathering of the male species that is known to cry over spilt beer.

Barbie: Is not a doll, but a barbecue,  that usually involves one bloke burning food while supervised by all other blokes in the area.

A Round: known as a shout. It’s when one bloke fetches a beer and automatically supplies a fresh cold beer for all the other blokes that are busy supervising the barbie. This is a must-do and part of the unspoken Blokes’ rules.

Possums: do sleep in trees, are nocturnal, and have a habit of falling out of trees in their sleep. They are not to be confused with the Drop-bears. (*giggles)

No animals were harmed during this episode. But, as for the beer, blokes, and the barbie…