Vehicular Larrikanism

“I’ll check it later,” he said, scratching beneath his oil-stained baseball cap as her bottom lip dropped while staring up at him with pleading puppy-eyes. Shaking his head, he leaned down to the rear tyre.  “Y’know, mechanicin’ isn’t magic. It’s just a process of elimination.”

“But—”

“You realize it’s a car, an’ not moving camouflaged-art?”

“But—”

“This is a two-wheeled drive —not four-wheeled drive.”

“But—”

“It’s not a billy goat or a reincarnated army tank.”

“But—”

“Not a born-again gecko gripping metallic-mud-wrestler.”

“But—”

“My truck’s tyre’s bigger than this teeny, tiny, car. Our cattle’s bigger than this vehicle. It’s a toy-car designed to never leave city limits.” He reached beneath the chassis and sighed heavily at the sight. “You know, cars perform much better when they’re not luggin’ a forest’s worth of tree,” he said, dragging out a long branch from under the wheel arch. “What did this little car ever do to you to deserve this kind of treatment?”

She jumped into the front seat and started it up. Her feet barely reached the pedals as she crunched the car into gear. “It’s survived everything we’ve put it through, so far.”

“Poor car. Especially with you drivin’ it. Where d’ya get it?”

“It fell off this road-train, Uncle. No one claimed it.”

“Course no one would want it, kid, not when we’re in four-wheel drive country. I’m surprised the bull-dust hasn’t swallowed it up yet.” He closed her door and the whole car shook. “How come you’ve got it when you’re not old enough to get a license?”

“There’s a wager goin’ on what it’ll take for me to kill it. But, I’m not allowed to shoot it or hit anythin’ to trigger-off the airbags. Hey, do you reckon it’ll float? I wonder if I can hook the outboard motor onto it?”

“Get gone, girlie,” he muttered, wiping his grimy hands on a rag as red dust billowed out from behind the tiny car cutting through the open plains. Wallabies raised their heads from under the shady eucalyptus trees, watching her drive past, upsetting a screeching aerial escort of white galahs to fly above her trail of red dust. “That’s it, I’m buyin’ that kid a bloody TV, to get ‘er away from all this country….”

(377 words)

FROM MOVING MOMENTS

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5 thoughts on “Vehicular Larrikanism

    1. Mel A Rowe says:

      Are you saying I scare my passengers with my off-road driving? Or is it my huge smile that is the tip-off that adventure begins – now! Lol. I drive more on dirt roads than the black-top (asphalt roads) these days and these signs are fairly common here in the Territory. Thanks for reading & leaving a comment – appreciate it. Mel.

      Like

      1. any1mark66 says:

        My first trip to hawaii I had a jeep and half the miles were off road. My wife looks at trips by what I rent now. I’ve driven down streams. It’s smother than when all four wheels are at different levels. But isn’t that why there’s four to begin with?

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Mel A Rowe says:

    Nice to hear of your sense of adventure & I bet your wife makes the best co-pilot/navigator. FYI – road trips rock!! Last car I hired was for a city visit & hired a bubble car (similar to the one described above) after driving a high-clearance 4wd it took awhile to adjust to how low cars are – swear I was sitting on the road. But it made for a whole new adventure in motor transport 🙂

    Like

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