An opening paragraph…

It was like standing in the middle of a sauna wearing an arctic explorer’s snow suit – it was the right place but it was just the wrong time.

Leaning her shoulder against the post to catch her breath, careful to not snag her navy coloured cargo-pants on the decayed wood that made up the poor excuse of a fence line. Watching the steam rise from the glistening road that disappeared into this half-dead countryside leaving the jumbled stench of wet dirt, rotten wood, hot bitumen and burnt rubber that assaulted the sinuses. Her tired brown eyes winced as lightning flashed, momentarily blinding her and the fast approaching storm front re-energized the air with hopeful relief of ending this scorching summer. Feeling the beads of perspiration running down her back, darkening the grey of her sweat stained t-shirt and swore her socks were saturated, but taking off her hiking boots and resting wasn’t an option. Exhaling deeply running her fingers through her cropped wet black hair that hung slick against her scalp, watching droplets of liquid that now formed off the ends of her long fringe that glistened like rain drops for just a second catching the lights of the oncoming car.

Her heart stopped. Her breath caught in her throat as if she’d frozen in fear. She knew that car.


Soooo……What do you think? Does this have a hook that makes you want to read more?

Please don’t be shy as I’m trying to improve on the craft and would appreciate your feedback.

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